A Discourse about Beauty and Daleks

My sisters are coming home for a visit next week tomorrow! By which I mean, we were expecting them next week but they'll be here tomorrow.  Which, actually, now is today.  Woops. *mental note - I should be cleaning*

In thinking of this I realize - my family always has visitors we're really not expecting.  And most of them are family members we haven't seen in a while.  :) which is great, and lends itself to great stories.  The most recent one is that our cousin Jason came into town on his scheduled visit, but we had forgotten to write down the schedule.  So Jason texted Dad about directions to our house.  Cue mass hysteria.  we had forgotten that he was coming!

But his visit was great, and we had some great conversation.  Which is always nice.  Because I think I was still a little kid last time I saw Jason.  It's nice to finally have grown-up conversations with my grown-up cousins.  Which brings me to the point of this whole thing.  One of our topics was the complete misunderstanding of God on the part of most modern-day thinkers and people in general.

We talked about sublimity - the difference between the Sublime and the Beautiful.  In literary and art and philosophical circles, it's not an unheard of topic.  Philosophers have studied the Sublime aesthetic for a very long time.

Basically what it comes to is this - Beauty makes you feel good.  it's there for enjoyment and pleasure. It inspires contemplation. The Sublime is something different.  The very beauty of something that is truly Sublime is terrifying.  Because that which is Sublime is capable of terrible things - That which makes you long for the experience of the sublime (its beauty) is inherently capable of killing you.  it's like you're a moth attracted to the light dancing from the dew of a spider's web.  You know it's gonna kill ya, but ya can't resist it.  The experience of the Sublime inspires action in response.

The disturbing thing is that we came to the conclusion that our culture has lost the idea of the Sublime.  We think any kind of beauty should be peaceful, should be conciliatory, should bring people together.  But the Sublime has a way of dividing people.  There is not a gray area when one is confronted with the Sublime.  Everything is an extreme.

In consequence of watering down our idea of beauty, our culture has lost depth, vitality and true inspiration.  What's truly tragic is who we have made God into.  Even the church has watered God down from a Sublime being to merely a Beautiful and benevolent benefactor.  The way we worship Him corporately, the way we pray to Him, the way we look to Him takes into account all of His delightful beauty, but subtracts His terrifying glory and power so that we forget we should respond to Him as a Sublime Deity.  That which originally inspired man to worship - the unimaginable power of God combined with his unimaginable Beauty - has been forgotten, and we are left with lifeless worship of dead choruses merely repeating how much we love Jesus.  Like a bunch of drones.  

 

Daleks, from the hit BBC TV series, Doctor Who.  One of my guilty pleasures.

When I worship sometimes, or watch others worshipping, it seems like we're all only going through the ritual - doing what we've been told to do.  It reminds me of some characters from the popular British TV show, Doctor Who.  The Daleks, a race of time-traveling beings whose goal is to become the only life form in the universe because they believe themselves to be superior, constantly chant "Ex-ter-minate. Ex-ter-minate." in a robotic monotone.  The Daleks firmly believe they should kill everything that is not Dalek, because it is not Dalek. They passionately believe in their cause, without having their own inspiration or proper understanding of why they must do what they do.  We may not be out to exterminate all other life forms, but it seems like we're holding on to this form of worship without understanding where the worship comes from.  We do it because we're meant to.  We may even feel something, because we know we're supposed to.  But do we do it because it's the only option left to us when faced by our cultural view (as a Church) of God?

In being confronted with the truly Sublime nature of God, the prophets Daniel, Ezekiel, and John could do nothing but hit the floor and worship.  They saw His beauty, His power, and His glory - and it was too much. It was terrifying, and it was wonderful.  They desired not to leave the LORD, but desired to hide themselves from Him too, because of the power displayed in His Sublime Beauty.  They desired to be close to Him, but knew it was not safe to be close to Him.  Their experience of God was a paradox of sorts.  They loved him so much it hurt, and feared him so much it hurt.  They wanted to be as close to Him as possible, and wanted to be as far away as possible.  They wanted to stay, and yet wanted to leave.

I do have some hope.  When I first began learning about the philosophical idea of the Sublime versus the Beautiful, it was difficult to comprehend.  But there were a few who eventually did - myself, another Christian, and a few Muslim women.  In a class of 250 college students, there were only 5 or so who ever really grasped the idea of Sublime vs. Beautiful - and all of us equated the Sublime with God.  Something Christianity and Islam have in common is this historical fear mixed with longing inspired by the presence and knowledge of God.  And in being confronted with a growing Muslim community in the world (Islam is the fastest growing religion in the United States, proportionately), American Christians are beginning to rediscover the proper response to God.

I encourage you all to read Immanuel Kant's Critique of Judgement: Book 1 and Book 2.  They lay out an idea of Beauty versus the Sublime which, from a Christian perspective, enriches and enhances one's idea of the Character of God.  The Cliffs Notes version might be the most helpful, if you're not interested in translating the philosopher's jargon.  It's not exactly an easy read.  After reading that, and chewing on it for a few hours (...or days), I encourage you to return in your quiet times to Colossians 1:15-23 and contemplate what it says about Christ.  I think it will enrich your relationship with God and your worship experience.

Happiness is a straw.

So much has changed from my last post...it's been a year and some change.  Another reason I was intimidated by the prospect of a blog in my first entry - I'm really bad at follow-through.  ha.

A reason I've been uncommunicative - so much has changed since I wrote my last blog!  I graduated, moved back home, got a *cough* job.  and have been thoroughly disillusioned with the wide world.  YES! PROGRESS!

...

Sorry that was disheartening.  Really, my emotions are all over the place.  I'm SO THANKFUL FOR THE MERCIES OF GOD in NOT giving me what I think thought I wanted.

The truth is, I can't even tell you everything I've learned.  my heart and head don't always give me the words to communicate my thoughts.  Some lessons I don't didn't even want to learn.  Some I thought I should would learn in a way other than the way God chose to teach me.  And while I wouldn't say I'm HAPPY about the changes, I also wouldn't say I wish they hadn't happened.

I guess I've learned (yeah, right) begun to learn the secret to contentment - something I studied last semester with a very special young woman named Rachael.  It's not necessarily being excited about what you've been given.  Cause sometimes it's like getting a package of hanes sports socks as your only christmas present.  You're like *WHAT?!* but the truth is you needed them more than any other stuff you could have gotten.  It's not even necessarily being happy about it.  But it's choosing to see the things you've been given as a blessing because they're what you've been given.  It's choosing to recognise that HOLINESS that sets God apart from us, and the perfection that is inherent in His divine plan.

It's like Joy.  Joy isn't happiness.  It's something different all together.  I think maybe I've been chasing my happy ending, but waaaay before the end.  maybe that's why I've been discontent and heartsick.  I'm grasping at straws to change God's plan.  I'd rather stick to joy and contentment.  Maybe that would make me a happier person too.

Christmas Confessions

As we start this Christmas Season, there's one thought I just can't shake.  It's captured in the last couple lines of this poem by Kay Ryan:

Crib

From the Greek for 

woven or plaited,

which quickly translated

to basket. Whence the verb

crib, which meant “to filch”

under cover of wicker

anything–some liquor,

a cutlet.

For we want to make off

with things that are not

our own. There is a pleasure

theft brings, a vitality

to the home.

Cribbed objects or answers

keep their guilty shimmer

forever, have you noticed?

Yet religions downplay this. 

Note, for instance, in our

annual rehearsals of innocence,

the substitution of manger for crib–

as if we ever deserved that baby,

or thought we did.

This poem kinda reflects how I feel about the whole Christmas idea right now: guilty.  I feel like a filthy sinner who deserves to be shut out of the Kingdom forever.  But the thing is...I'm not.  In sending His Son to Earth to die for me, God gave me the innocence of that manger baby.  It's mine, and I get to walk in the fact that the greatest part about Christmas is that Christ's innocence has been credited to me.  As I say this, I struggle with sin.  I struggle with my own imperfection, my own rebellion, my own total lack of anything good to call my own.  And I don't feel good about it.  But therein lies the heart of the gospel: I am not capable of good, so I don't have to be "good"... God doesn't see that about me any more.  So while I'm frustrated and feel dirty and stained, God is saying to me "Have hope, my little Daughter - I'm not asking for your good, but for your heart. Dirty and all.  I'll wash it up a bit before I use it."  In the midst of my darkness, I have hope that I am not defined in Erin terms, but in God terms.  God's messenger uses my own name to preach to me.  Erin - Peace.  Evangeline - Good news.  granted, they were saying it in Aramaic, not Greek.  but somehow, God knew I would need to remember who I am.  A sinner given the peace of God through the good news of Christ.  my guilt no longer matters.

so please excuse this bit of self-evangelism...sometimes preaching to yourself is necessary.  But please don't think that this message is only meant for me.  It's for all of us.  this Christmas season, think about that manger baby.  Think about what He means.  Really.  Personally.  To you.  You will get no greater gift this year.

The Eternal Now.

It's been a while since I updated this thing.

I recently encountered an argument against Christianity in the books of Philip Pullman, author of the "His Dark Materials" trilogy.  In his books, he exploits the past and present failures of Christianity to say that God has outlived His usefulness, and it's time to watch Him blow away.  The main argument is that the Christianity of men like CS Lewis is grounded not in our present reality, but in an intangible future hope that renders Christians incapable of present goodness.

I think he missed the point.  I think we all sometimes do.

So what is the point?

I think in the Bible it's very clear - Christ was about the Eternal "here and now".  That sounds contradictory, but let me explain.  When Christ came, the Prophets had all been saying "The kingdom of God is coming...."  Christ began preaching "The kingdom of God has come.  It is here.  Don't miss it" (see Mark 1:14-15).  Obviously, people were a bit confused.  Still are.  But after Christ, this preaching continued, and people continued to say that following Christ was about what I've called in this post "The Eternal Now".

What do I mean by that?  I mean that for the Christian, the hope of Eternity glorifying God starts in the moment they decide to make Jesus Christ the Lord of their life.  Their Spirit, now born of God, has been given the promise of Eternity with Him, and is therefore immortal.  We cannot be separated from God, not even by death. (Romans 8:38-39) We are now counted as being God's children, and we are ambassadors in the "now" for the Eternal God (2 Corinthians 5:20).  Again and again, we are told to live while we are in the present age - the "now" - in this Truth, conducting ourselves in a way to bring glory to God (1 Peter 1:17-21).  All the letters of the apostles to the Church emphasize our responsibility to live in the now in a way that will glorify God.  Jesus Himself instructed us on the way to live.  The point of the New Testament is to show the fulfillment of God's promise, and to answer the question "How now shall we live?"

Unfortunately, we've gotten caught up in the fact that we cannot be "of the world" rather than owning the fact that we are "in the world" for a reason (John 17:15-18).

Heart Cry for RezWeek 2011

Hey friends and family! This is the poem I wrote and read for REZweek.  It was a work of the Spirit, not of me, but some people said they wanted to see it, so here it is.

Do you remember Me?
I know you in the dark places,
in the secret places hidden from time.
I form you from the dust of the earth
fold and knit you from fabric of My making
so that you may know Me.
don't you remember?

do you remember Me?
I nourish you with Manna,
Bread of Heaven, Words of Life
I give you Living Water from the Rock
and teach you to drink deeply
to quench your thirst from My bounty.
do you even remember?

do you remember Me?
My voice rumbles from the mountaintop
prophets declare my thoughts
you are struck through with fear and rightly
for I am holy and you are lowly
but I am wholly yours.
don't you remember?

do you remember Me?
I give to you the Good and Promised Land
I choose you to be My People,
you stubborn, unmoving children!
not because of your merit
but because I choose to love you
do you even remember?

do you remember Me?
I am the Lord who loves you,
the God of gods and Lord of lords
the great God, mighty and awesome
The Lord who is among you
The One who hears your cry.
don't you remember?

do you remember Me?
I hang upon a cross
drink the boiling cup of God's hatred
I drink it to the burning dregs
agony upon agony
All for you, My cherished People
do you even remember?

do you remember Me?
I remember you.
there's a place for you in eternity
you'll share with Me in Victory
all pain forgotten, all foes vanquished
I long for you to join me here
don't you remember?

do you remember Me?
do you remember your First Love?
do you remember Light?
do you remember answered prayers
do you remember the joy of faith
the joy of restored sight?
do you even remember?

Breached

I was Jericho
with walls high and wide
But love higher and wider
Swept over the side
Now I've been captured
With love so divine
The wall has been breached
This wall that was mine.

I thought I was covered,
I posted the guard.
Who knew that you'd soften
A heart that was hard?
I locked all the doors
And melted the key
But I never counted
On Your love for me.

Inside the walls
I cowered and cried
No one would rescue me -
No body tried.
And You came along
And softly you said
I'll give You a life
if you give up your death.

The dam's broken loose
We'll let the tide flow
as over and under
Your love quickly goes
Knee deep in water
That washed away fears
And anger and hatred
And traded with tears.

The walls have begun
To crumble in me
And now I'm beginning
To finally see
A wall built on nothing
Round a hole six feet down
Where a little girl hiding
All alone was found.

Who celebrates surrender
when everything's lost?
Only when you see
what Victory cost.
A life lived in love
And a heart filled with grace
Hung on a tree
To die cursed in my place.

The wall was breached
The wall that was high
And now without it
I can see sky!
I'm free to live life
Unbounded by chains
Of sin and of sorrow
And of suffering and pain.

Breaking Holy

Recently, there's been a phrase that has been going around that I despise. I'm not going to tell you the phrase, because I don't want to seem as if I'm judging anyone, cause I'm not (my sister brought this to my attention when I was ranting at her). But I'll tell you why - because it glosses over the significance of who God is. 

What do I mean by that? I mean that the significance of everything that is most important about our God - His Holiness.

And as I was thinking about this, I realized. We have no cultural concept of "holy." What does it mean in Revelation 4 when the creatures around God's throne cry out that He is "Holy, Holy, Holy!"? Our culture has no idea.

Holiness is an idea of being set apart. Being special. Being special because of being touched by the divine. In a culture that denies holiness, we deny the Divine. We deny that He touches us, that He uses us, and that He - is.

Everything that was once holy is no longer. Take sex as the classic example. Sex was something so pure, so special, so celebrated in the context God designed for - its holy context. It is a holy metaphor: The longing for one another, the connection, the feeling of joy and being love no matter what, the feeling of being enough and of being essential and of being whole - it all points to how God wants to be with us, how He wants us to be with Him. It was holy in its context of being set apart. And then it stopped being set apart for two people. With the assault of porn, it became something other people could take part in. With orgies and multiple partners, sex lost its mystery and its "set apartness". Then it started being included i movies, in tv, in commercials, in music, on billboards. And now, sex is for everyone. it means nothing except physical pleasure. Sex has ceased to be holy. And this is just the easiest example. I could show you so many things that used to be holy - the cross, music, the Bible - that no longer are holy.

The consequence of breaking down barriers setting things apart is that we no longer see barriers at all.

Back to my point - the phrase that I am objecting to. I object to it because it glosses over something so holy, so special, so integral to our understanding of who God is:

HIS NAME.